I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
