Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
