She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
