he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
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