My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
