When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize