I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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