you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
