??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
When are your genitals available?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
