1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
