My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
