I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
