If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
