Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
