i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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