I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize