I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
