Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
