He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
