I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
