I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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