i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This is classic penis vs brain.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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