Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
