i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
