READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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