I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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