Kareoke will never be a sober sport
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize