I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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