I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
These tits shall not be calmed
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