My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
