Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
