I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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