There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
