I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
