it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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