i permit you to call me
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
