i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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