ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
