What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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