Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
