My brain says no but my pants say off.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
