u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
