Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
