I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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