you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
