Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
