I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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