I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
