Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
