and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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