Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I'm always down for nudity.
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