do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
