:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
