Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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