Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
