I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
