i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
