how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
