it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
