I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
