nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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