think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
